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TED | 如何走好生命中的每一步?



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I'm turning 44 next month, and I have the sense that 44 is going to be a very good year, a year of fulfillment, realization. I have that sense, not because of anything particular in store for me, but because I read it would be a good year in a 1968 book by Norman Mailer.

下个月我就44岁了,并且我觉得44岁将成为美好的一年,充满着实现和领悟的一年。我有这种感觉,并不是因为什么特别的事,而是我从诺曼·梅勒在1968年写的书上看到的。


"He felt his own age, forty-four ..." wrote Mailer in "The Armies of the Night," "... felt as if he were a solid embodiment of bone, muscle, heart, mind, and sentiment to be a man, as if he had arrived."

"44岁, 他感觉到了岁月无情," 梅勒在《夜幕下的大军》中写到 "感觉到他自己就是骨头、肌肉、心、意识、情感组成的坚实的化身,就像他已经那个年纪了一样。”


Yes, I know Mailer wasn't writing about me. But I also know that he was; for all of us -- you, me, the subject of his book, age more or less in step, proceed from birth along the same great sequence:through the wonders and confinements of childhood; the emancipations and frustrations of adolescence; the empowerments and millstones of adulthood; the recognitions and resignations of old age. There are patterns to life, and they are shared. As Thomas Mann wrote: "It will happen to me as to them."

是的,我知道梅勒不是在写我。但我冥冥中能感受到他其实就在写我;因为我们所有人:你、我还有他书中的主人公,都在一点点变老,从出生就限定在了恒定的生命规律中了:从孩提时期的好奇和禁锢;到少年时代的不羁和烦恼;再到步入成年的权威和里程碑,最后迈入老年的德高望重。生命有它自己的规律,这是所有人必经的历程。就如托马斯·曼所写: “我将经历别人所经历的一切。“


We don't simply live these patterns. We record them, too. We write them down in books, where they become narratives that we can then read and recognize. Books tell us who we've been, who we are, who we will be, too. So they have for millennia. As James Salter wrote, "Life passes into pages if it passes into anything."

我们不仅存活在这种规律中,我们还会把它们记录下来。我们把它写进书里,成为了大家都可以读识的叙事。书籍能帮我们了解曾经的我们,当下的我们,和未来的我们。所以书籍已经存在了上千年。正如詹姆斯·索尔特所写, “如果生命能变成什么的话,它能变成一本书。”


And so six years ago, a thought leapt to mind: if life passed into pages, there were, somewhere,passages written about every age. If I could find them, I could assemble them into a narrative. I could assemble them into a life, a long life, a hundred-year life, the entirety of that same great sequencethrough which the luckiest among us pass. 

所以六年之前 一个想法从我脑中闪过: 如果岁月能变成书,那么在某处,一定有关于每一个年纪的文章存在。如果我能找到它们,我就可以把它们串成一段故事。我可以把它们汇成一辈子,一段长达一百年的生命,这是只有最幸运的我们才跨越过的生命长度。


I was then 37 years old, "an age of discretion," wrote William Trevor. I was prone to meditating on time and age. An illness in the family and later an injury to me had long made clear that growing old could not be assumed. And besides, growing old only postponed the inevitable, time seeing through what circumstance did not. It was all a bit disheartening.

当年我37岁,威廉·特雷弗说这是“一个小心翼翼的年纪”。我总是想去沉思岁月和人生。我们家族中的一种遗传病,后来也对我有所伤害。这件事告诉我不是每个人都能平平安安活到老的。况且,年华老去只不过是推迟了不可避免的死亡的事实,岁月看穿了一切。这有些令人伤感。


A list, though, would last. To chronicle a life year by vulnerable year would be to clasp and to ground what was fleeting, would be to provide myself and others a glimpse into the future, whether we made it there or not. And when I then began to compile my list, I was quickly obsessed, searching pages and pages for ages and ages. Here we were at every annual step through our first hundred years."Twenty-seven ... a time of sudden revelations," "sixty-two, ... of subtle diminishments."

然而一张时间表会得以留存。去记录逐渐衰弱的生命,就是去尝试挽留流水般逝去的年华,就是让我们自己和别人可以窥一眼未来,无论我们是否能抵达终点。而当我开始整理我的时间表时,我就已经被迷住了,一页一页地寻找岁月的痕迹。在一百年的跋涉中我们回看每年的步伐。 “二十七岁,是一个充满著豁然开朗的年龄。” “六十二岁,是一个逐渐光华不再的年龄。”


I was mindful, of course, that such insights were relative. For starters, we now live longer, and so age more slowly. Christopher Isherwood used the phrase "the yellow leaf" to describe a man at 53, only one century after Lord Byron used it to describe himself at 36.

当然我也明白,这种对岁月的见解是相对的。首先,我们的寿命比前人要长,所以我们衰老得慢。克里斯托弗·伊舍伍德用“落叶” 形容53岁的人,而一百年前拜伦伯爵正好用这个词形容当时36岁的自己。


I was mindful, too, that life can swing wildly and unpredictably from one year to the next, and that people may experience the same age differently. But even so, as the list coalesced, so, too, on the page, clear as the reflection in the mirror, did the life that I had been living: finding at 20 that "... one is less and less sure of who one is;" emerging at 30 from the "... wasteland of preparation into active life;" learning at 40 "... to close softly the doors to rooms [I would] not be coming back to." There I was.

我也知道,有时命运多舛的人一年之间也会经历不可预测的大风大浪,每个人在同样的年龄都有不同的经历。即使如此,当这张时间表完成的时候,我仍然能在那里面找到我自己一生的影子:发现“人在20岁的时候总是看不清自己”; 三十出头“总算从荒芜闯出精彩纷呈“; 40岁学会了“要轻轻地关上我不再进去的房间的门。” 这就是我。


Of course, there we all are. Milton Glaser, the great graphic designer whose beautiful visualizations you see here, and who today is 85 -- all those years "... a ripening and an apotheosis," wrote Nabokov -- noted to me that, like art and like color, literature helps us to remember what we've experienced.

当然,这也是我们。你所看到的这张美丽的照片正是85岁的米尔顿·格拉塞,一位了不起的平面设计师。86个年头,“正是成熟和昇华之时” 纳博科夫写到。对于我来说,文学就像艺术和色彩,替我们记住我们记住了曾经的我们。


And indeed, when I shared the list with my grandfather, he nodded in recognition. He was then 95 and soon to die, which, wrote Roberto Bolaño, "... is the same as never dying." And looking back, he said to me that, yes, Proust was right that at 22, we are sure we will not die, just as a thanatologist named Edwin Shneidman was right that at 90, we are sure we will. It had happened to him, as to them.

果真,当我把这张时间表 拿给我祖父看时 他赞同地点了点头。 他当时已经95岁了, 离大去之时不远了。像罗伯托·博拉诺写的, “这就如同永垂不朽。” 往回看,我祖父也跟我这样说过。普鲁斯特说所不假, 22岁的我们坚信我们不会死, 而就像死亡学家, 埃德温父施耐德曼说的,90岁的时候,我们都清楚我们将要离去。就跟他的同辈人一样他已然经历了死亡。


Now the list is done: a hundred years. And looking back over it, I know that I am not done. I still have my life to live, still have many more pages to pass into. And mindful of Mailer, I await 44.Thank you.(Applause)

现在这张时间表已经完成:整整一百年。只是现在再回看这张表,我觉得我还没有完成我的任务。我还要去好好活我余下的人生,而这剩下的年华,也足够去书写更多精彩。心中不忘诺曼·梅勒所言,44岁,我满怀期待。谢谢。


哈佛大学研究:一个人成为废柴的九大根源。

我们总在日复一日的生活中变得庸碌,不知不觉间,你是否已经变成了曾经最反感的子?考虑一千次,不如去做一次!犹豫一万次,不如实践一次!只要你能够抛弃以下这弱点,你就有可能除去废材这个标签。

一、犹豫不决

Indecision

比鲁莽更糟糕的是犹豫不决。

What is worse than recklessness is hesitation.

像墙头草一样摇摆不定的人,无论其他方面多么强大,在生命的竞赛中总是容易被那些坚定地人挤到一边。雷厉风行难免会犯错,但比什么也不敢做强。怀特·黑德说:“畏惧错误就是毁灭进步。”

Those who sways with every wind are just like the grass on the top of a wall, no matter how powerful , are always easy to be defeated by those who has a strong belief. Act vigorously and resolutely will inevitably make mistakes, however, is better than doing nothing. "The fear of error is the destruction of progress," said Whitehead.

二、拖延

Procrastination

很多时候拖延就是逃避问题和懒惰。

Most of the time procarstination is to escape from a problem and laziness.

著名思想家罗曼·罗兰说:“懒惰是很奇怪的东西,它让你以为那是安逸,是休息,是福气;但实际上它所给你的是无聊,是倦怠,是消沉。”

The famous thinker-Romain Rolland said “Laziness is a strange thing, it makes you feel that your situation is comfort, is a rest, is a blessing; but in fact it is boring, tired, depressed.”

三、三分钟热度

Brief period of enthusiasm

  

世界上有80%的失败都源于半途而废。

80% of the failure is due to give up halfway in the world.

几乎所有的人都有过“雄心勃勃地制定计划,心灰意冷地放弃计划”的经历。

Most of people had the eperience of making plans ambitiously,and then had to give up in despair.

四、害怕拒绝

Fear of rejection

厚重而脆弱的自尊

Heavy and fragile self-esteem.

大多数时候,我们在人际关系中感受到的“痛”,都和“感到被拒绝”有关。

Most of the time,the pain that we go through in our interpersonal relationships is always in connection with"you think you were rejected".

五、自我设限

Self-handicapping

  

杀死自己的潜能力

Kill your latent ability.

拉罗什富科说:平庸的人总是在抱怨自己不懂的东西。

La Rouchefoucauld said: mediocre people are always complaining about things they do not understand.

六、逃避现实

Escape from reality

  

逃避现实者更愿意营造一个属于自己的小世界。

Escapists prefer to create their own little world.

人的悲剧在于眼高手低。

People's tragedy is they have a great ambition but puny ability.

七、总找借口

Excuses

  

错不在我。

It is not my fault .

人一旦犯了错,第一反应常常是自我辩护。

Once people made a mistake, the first reaction is often self defense.

八、恐惧

Fear

  

谨小慎微的且懦弱。

Timid and cowardly.

九、拒绝学习

Refuse to learn

你不是寂寞,只是不想学习。

You are not lonely, just don't want to learn.


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